


Pocono Panic

by AgentGreyNevada



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Camping, Car Ride, Mishaps, Mountains, Multi, Panicking, Poconos, Sharing beds, Summer, Summer trip, Thunderstorms, Vacation, Warthog
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-07-24 23:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20022679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentGreyNevada/pseuds/AgentGreyNevada
Summary: The Reds and Blues take a one week vacation up to the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania where all sorts of shit goes down.





	1. Day 0: Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> This will be part of a larger collection of works regarding my Red vs Blue college AU. I had inspiration to write this because I recently got back from the mountains, and what better way to document the trip by writing a fan fiction about it!
> 
> Instead of being called Red Team and Blue Team, they're called 'houses' to mimic sorority/fraternity houses.

"Sarge, I think I'm gonna be sick." 

"Well I'm sick of _YOU!_ " The red armored soldier replied harshly to the driving Dexter Grif. It was Hour 5 into their 10 hour drive up to the Pocono Mountains from their home in Tennessee. Prior to entering their junior year at the Mother of Invention Training University (or MITU for short), the Red and Blue Houses agreed to split the cost of an Airbnb home up in the Pennsylvania mountains. On paper that Simmons plotted out, the trip sounded like a grand idea - picnics, barbecues, kayaking, fishing, hiking and the pleasure of relaxation in a luxurious home right on the lake. But in reality, it's most likely going to be a nightmare. 

"No, seriously Sarge, I don't feel well. Did you actually have Simmons poison my lunch before lunch?" Grif asked, his voice fluctuating, trying not to throw up onto the Warthog's steering wheel and dashboard. Simmons poked his head out from the turret's wall in the back. 

"Grif, why would I do that? We're friends, and you're not a Blue! Unlike your colorblind sister..." Simmons muttered the last bit under his breath, feeling the car swerve underneath him. He let out a yelp and gripped the back wall of the jeep. "Hey, what the fuck, asshole!" 

"Dude, I don't feel good...when was the last time I got sick off of food? Never!" Grif swerved into the emergency pull off lane near a tree line, not even bothering with the emergency flashers. 

Once the vehicle came to a stop, he scurried out of the driver's seat and over to the grass and trees and vomited, falling to his knees. The two men stood a good 6 feet behind their comrade. 

"Gosh, didn't I tell you never to trust gas station sushi?" Another man appeared behind Simmons and Sarge in an all pink onesie, not really caring for the heat of the Virginia/PA border but prepping for the cooler temperatures of the mountains. His hair was blown back - probably because of sitting in the golf cart that was being towed behind the Warthog. 

"No Donut, I'm afraid that's no use. If you tell him no, he'll still eat it. It makes it more tempting. That insubordinate bastard." Sarge grumbled under his breath as he paced back to the shotgun seat of the vehicle. 

"So uh, how's the trip for you three?" Simmons asked, trying his best to ignore Grif puking up everything he ate within the past 12 hours - which ended up being 4,000 calories in food, no surprise to anyone. He looked over Donut, internally cringing at his 'professional' outfit choice. 

"It's uh...going alright. Doc kinda...lost his voice after the first half hour on the highway for screaming. I guess going 70 miles an hour in a vehicle with no doors, windows or seatbelts can do that to someone." 

"Muy bien." Lopez stalked over, crossing his arms. He wasn't even sure how he got invited on this mountain vacation - he should've been home back in Spain by now. But one thing led to another and his flight was cancelled numerous times and the Reds had one more seat in the deathtrap of the golf cart. He suspected that Sarge purposefully cancelled his flights home so he can join the rest of Red House on the trip. He was flattered, but also very annoyed.

"Well, only another 4 hours and 52 minutes to go. If Fatass over here stops throwing up." Simmons narrowed his dark green eyes at Grif, still kneeling at the side of the treeline. 

"Just...get me some orange juice...then I'll be good..." Grif huffed, the pit in his stomach no longer hurting from bad sushi, but rather being extremely hungry. "Is there an IHOP around here?" 

Simmons rolled his eyes. "I hope the Blues are having better luck than we are." 

* * *

"Are we there yet?" 

...

"Are we there yet?" 

...

"Are we there ye-" 

" _Caboose._ " Church death gripped the steering wheel as the black haired man-child in the backseat would not shut up. He had been asking the same question for the past 2 hours. "What have I told you?!" 

"That we are not there yet. But....are we there now?" He asked once more. Church nearly swerved and turned the car around when Washington intervened. 

"Church, why don't I drive? You can take a nap, put some headphones in, watch YouTube and not kill us." Wash placed a gentle hand on Church's shoulder from the passenger seat. 

"Yeah? Get a nap? With these idiots?" Church complained as Tucker and Sister began belting out the lyrics from Cardi B's newest album. "SHUT UP TUCKER! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE THAT TRASH!" 

Church veered into the left lane and got honked from a Honda behind them. He went back into their lane as they passed the "Welcome to Pennsylvania" sign. "Fine. You can drive." His voice growled as he got off on the first exit he saw and pulled into a gas station, Caboose instantly getting excited. 

"Is this the place? Is this the lakey house?" He asked while climbing out of the vehicle for no reason. 

"Caboose, it's a _lake_ house. We're not lackeys for an evil foe." Carolina mumbled. She had been going in and out of sleep for the past few hours and had finally drifted off before Church started losing his marbles. 

"Ooh! Snack time!" Sister vaulted out of the far back seats of the mini van with Tucker in tow. 

"Don't take forever! Assholes." Church bitched quietly while walking around to the other side of the van and climbing into Wash's old seat. 

"Hey, calm down Road Rage." Wash kidded with the Student Government president as he got into the driver's seat. "We'll be there in no time. This baby's got some kick to her." 

"Oh yeah? A 40 year old Mama's car got some kick to it?" Carolina joked from the back seat as she readjusted her going-to-be napping position. Wash rolled his eyes with a slight smile. 

"First, she's not 40 years old. The car is a 2553 Honda Pilot SRVX3. It was the newest model when bought, and it took care of me and my siblings." Wash replied. 

"So...the car is 23 years old." Church did the math and squinted at Wash as he adjusted the mirrors. 

"...yes, but she still runs great. Dad kept up with the maintenance and our parents _never_ let us drove it." 

"But now you have it?" Carolina asked. 

"They let me borrow it. I told them about the camping trip and they reminisced for a good half hour about our family vacations up to the mountains and thought this car would give us some good 'bonding time'." Wash explained. 

"Bonding time my ass. This car is so cramped, why didn't two of us go in Carolina's car?" Church shifted his gaze from out the window and to Washington. Everyone knew at this point that Wash had the biggest crush on Carolina, but she was currently in a steady relationship with her boyfriend, York. Carolina's car was hitched to the back of the minivan so that she could go venture on her own without lugging around a big hunk of metal. It also gave her an excuse to not bring the entire Blue House with her since the car was only a 2 seater. 

Carolina bit her lip. "We figured you would want some people with common sense in your car." She looked to Washington and then back to Church as the group of three returned to the minivan. 

"We got jerky! And chocolate covered bacon! And these red beet eggs!" Sister exclaimed while holding up the reddened hard boiled eggs in a bag. 

"Oh cool, just uh...don't feed my cats those. They'll get sick and die and...I didn't plan to have funerals on this vacation." Wash asked nervously from the front seat. He indeed bring all three of his cats. He couldn't stand the idea of them being alone while he was gone, or in someone else's care.

"Church! They had cookies with creme on them!" Caboose held up a snack cake that had cream in the middle and two cakes holding it together. 

"...Caboose that's a whoopie pie." Church rolled his eyes as he corrected the blue shirted man. 

"Are you sure it's not a cream pie? Bow chicka bow wow!" Tucker snarked as he climbed into the back seat with Kaikaina. 

"Oh my god SHUT UP!" Church barked to the back of the vehicle as Wash got them back onto the highway. 

"Okay Leo, let's just...breathe deeply and uh...listen to some music." Wash focused on driving while tapping on Church's earbuds that laid in the center console with his Starbucks green tea lemonade. 

"Ooh! We got good shit!" Tucker reached over Carolina and pulled at the AUX cord and connected to the car's internal speakers. They could only hear the thudding bass in the speakers, the music was so loud. 

"Wow I'm at a club!" Sister shrieked as the two danced in their seats and sung along to lyrics that no one else could hear. 

Wash yanked out the AUX cord. "Guys, cut it out!" He shouted back to the party goers as cars passed him on the left. "Sheila, how far are we?" 

"You are on the fastest route. You will arrive at your destination in 5 hours and 31 minutes." The on-board navigation replied to Wash's command. Wash sat back in the seat as him and Church exchanged a glance. 

It was going to be a long 5 hours. 

* * *

Somehow, the Blues managed to be the first ones to the Airbnb cabin. Wash slowly pulled up the long, gravel driveway as eyes glued to the car windows to get a glimpse at the house come to life. 

The porch was massive, wrapping around the entire log cabin with a roof overhanging to protect it from leaves and water and contained multiple sets of lounge chairs and tables. The house had two stories with three bedrooms, equipped with two and a half bathrooms, a full kitchen with a grill and bonfire pit on the back lawn. There was a stone path going down a hill that led to the dock and small fishing area, right onto the lake. It was the _perfect_ place. Church was the first one out of the vehicle before Wash could even put the van into park. 

"DIBS ON THE MASTER SUITE!" He shouted, bolting for the house. Caboose panicked, seeing his best friend go find a room without him. 

"CHURCH! DON'T LEAVE WITHOUT ME!" He spammed the button to open the sliding door as Washington finally unlocked the doors after parking the car in front of the garage. The door slowly slid open and Caboose weaseled himself out, bounding after Church. Carolina sighed and looked behind at Tucker and Sister. 

"Not going to go claim a room?" She asked the 'couple'. Tucker snorted. 

"Lina, the couch is where it's at. Access to snacks, the bathroom and the flat screen TV without hassle!" Tucker moved aside Caboose's seat so him and Sister can get out of the minivan. Carolina followed suit, but exited using the other door. Wash was already out of the car. 

"Looks like we might have to share a bedroom." He pointed out, looking at the pictures of the cabin on the Airbnb app. Carolina sighed. She had figured some people would have to share rooms, given the amount of people coming on the trip. But she figured she would share with Sister, not Washington. _York's gonna have a field day with this,_ she thought. 

"No problem. But who gets the bed?" Carolina instantly ran into the house with a smirk on her face. 

"Aw come on!" Wash cried out, flailing his arms. "That's not fair!" 

"Life isn't fair David!" Carolina called out as she entered the house. Washington sighed as another vehicle pulled up the driveway. 

"Here we are, men! Our lovely vacation home!" Sarge spoke, dismounting from the passenger seat as Grif turned off the engine to the jeep. 

"Thank _god_ we're finally here..." Simmons exasperated, helping Donut, Doc and Lopez off of the golf cart that somehow didn't unattach from the warthog while they drove down the highway. "Hey Wash! When did you guys get here?" 

"Just a few minutes ago." The blond haired man approached Red House as Sarge pulled out camping equipment from the warthog. "Um...Sarge, what is that?" 

"Well, aren't we camping?" The super duper college senior replied as he threw the tents off to the side onto the grass in front of the cabin. "Red House will camp outside and protect the home! And our truck, our most prized possession." 

"Sarge, for the last time, it's a jeep!" Simmons whined as he helped Doc stand. He was feeling queasy since Hour 7 into the 10 hour drive. 

"No Simmons, I'm afraid you're wrong! And need to be re-initiated into Red House." Sarge went on. Simmons squinted at his 'superior'. 

"Sarge, we didn't even get initiated. You honked outside of our freshman dorm window until we decided to come along, and then you forced us to join!" Grif pointed out, reminiscing on Simmons and him living together back in freshman year and on Move In Day, Sarge showing up to 'take them' to the Convocation ceremonies. What a whirlwind of events from then on. 

"Grif, what did I tell you about keeping that ritual a secret?!" Sarge had magically pulled out his shotgun. No one even saw the man pack it with the rest of his camping equipment - and Simmons was cataloging _everything_. "You ruined what makes a Red a Red! In front of a Blue!" 

Washington was just standing there, so utterly confused. "I heard nothing, Sarge. I promise." He held his hands up defensively. 

"Good. You've been spared, Private Grif." Sarge lowered his shotgun. "Alright men, time to pitch the tents-" 

"Are you serious Sarge? We got a cabin house for a reason. And we're paying for it!" Simmons whined once more as Wash took Doc from his arms and hauled him into the cabin. "So why are we going to sleep outside?" 

"Well it's obvious, Simmons. We have to protect our house. And the truck from evil enemies!" Sarge went on, already starting to get each tent set up. 

Grif looked around at the wilderness surrounding them. The houses were spread far apart and no one was around. "Um, what villains are we talking about? Deer? A squirrel? Maybe a leaf?" 

"No Son, the Blues of the North!" An audible groan was heard from both Simmons and Grif. Donut was finally on his feet. 

"I can help pitch everyone's tents! I love pitching tents!" 

And that's when Simmons and Grif trudged their asses inside. 

Blue House already began unpacking and settling into their rooms - or for Tucker and Kai, their space in the living room - and Carolina began making plans with Washington and Church for that evening. 

"Why don't we go to the pool? Everyone could use the relaxation after traveling all day." Wash brought up as an idea. 

"And then, we can go skiing!" Caboose popped out from behind Church and scared the living shit out of the man, causing him to spill his tea. 

"What the-?! CABOOSE!" Church slammed the tea cup onto the table and ran after Caboose as he ran upstairs. 

"Uh, hey Carolina." Simmons approached with Grif in tow after Church barreled past them. "What's the room situation like?" 

"One more room at the end of the hall." She spoke, pointing down a somewhat long corridor. Grif and Simmons bolted. 

"Aw man, I'm _not_ sharing a bed with you." Grif folded his arms and stood at the entrance to the smaller bedroom as Simmons paced about, observing the full size bed in the center of the medium sized room. 

"Well, the bed _is_ big enough for the both of us...we just might have to...deal with it." Simmons couldn't sleep on the floor with all of his back issues and metal plating littering his spine. And Grif didn't want to sleep on the floor because he was lazy and just wanted a nice bed. It _was_ vacation after all. 

Grif sighed. "Fine. But if you hog the sheets, you're on the floor." 

"But gRiFFFF," Simmons whined. "You know what sleeping on the floor will do to my back!" 

"Don't care buddy, if you hog, you're on the floor." Grif plopped himself down on what was now his side of the bed. Simmons sighed. It was just how Simmons predicted it to be - the trip was going to be a nightmare.


	2. Day 1: Pools, Picnics and Panicking

It was the evening when both houses finally figured out what they were going to do for their first night up in the mountains - take a drive down to the pool and have a picnic for dinner. Surely this shouldn't be too complicated, right? 

"Who's going to watch my cats?" Washington had an orange tabby in his arms as people moved around him, trying to quickly pack picnic foods and keep Grif out of the kitchen. Carolina walked up to him. 

"Did you really think you were bringing your cats everywhere?" She snorted. "Leave them in the bedroom." Washington sighed with rolled eyes and went back upstairs to also fetch his swim trunks. 

"OH BOY OH BOY! WE'RE GOING, TO A FIELD-" 

"CABOOSE!" Church had a clingy Caboose following him literally _everywhere_ within the cabin. "We're NOT going to a field. We're going to a pool." 

"...balls!" Caboose had confused going swimming for playing billiards. Thank god Tucker wasn't in the room. 

"No Caboose...we're going _swimming_." Church turned around to scold the idiot. Caboose gasped. 

"We're going to AN OCEAN!" Church wanted to die. 

"Excuse me, shotgun coming through!" Sarge manuevered around the two Blue House members and into the kitchen. "Warthog is ready to go!" 

"Wait a minute..." Carolina stopped packing a cooler. "There's eleven of us. We're not all going to fit in the jeep." 

"And that's where you're wrong, little lady!" Sarge laughed obnoxiously. "Lopez fixed her right up to accommodate for our quantity of people!" Outside, Lopez stood next to the Warthog, no longer mounting a turret but looked like a safari tour bus with 12 seats. Carolina stared out the window, jaw opened as Wash came up behind her. 

"What are we looking- oh my god." He commented, now his jaw was also on the floor. "How the fu..."

"Encontré algunas piezas de repuesto en el cobertizo. Simplemente no lo lleves a ninguna autopista." Lopez greeted Grif as he approached the jeep and got into the driver's seat. 

"No promises that I won't wreck it." Grif replied, not comprehending a single word the international student spoke. Simmons hopped into the shotgun seat. 

"COME ON GUYS, LET'S GO!" Simmons shouted. He could already feel his pale Irish skin burning in the shade of the trees. 

After a few minutes, all 11 members climbed into the vehicle with three coolers of food in the back. They were off to the pool. 

* * *

"Wow, this breeze feels awesome!" Sister was the first out of the Warthog with Tucker in tow as they approached the gated pool. Between the two, they carried one of the coolers, Washington and Carolina carried the second, and Grif alone carried the third. He was hungry. Everyone entered the pool area and started unpacking their towels from their bags. 

"Alright men! Let's begin warming up for our first challenge!" Everyone stopped and stared at Sarge. 

"What on Earth are you talking about?" Carolina questioned with a furrowed brow, a strand of red hair flying in between both eyes. 

"You know, the elimination challenges! Someone gets voted off, sent home early!" 

"Sarge, this isn't Survivor, this isn't some random island out in the Pacific Ocean. We're in the _Pocono Mountains_." Simmons tried talking sense into Red House's leader, but he wasn't having it. 

"Is that insubordination I smell?!" He raised his shotgun. 

"EXCUSE ME! NO GUNS AT THE POOL!" A lifeguard yelled. 

"Can it, ya blue." Sarge barked back at the poor guy dressed in a blue swim suit. Sarge then rushed off to give him a piece of his mind. 

"Alright guys, let's swim!" Carolina, having used the time where everyone was distracted by the scene created by Sarge, stripped down to her swimsuit. It was a turquoise two piece, the top going up to her neck on both sides with some small cut outs in the center. She also sported a pair of York's sunglasses that she 'borrowed' for the trip. She approached the edge of the pool. 

Tucker could _not_ stop staring. And Carolina soon caught his ogling eyes. 

"Is there a problem?" She hissed at him, quickly snapping out of the moment. 

"Huh, what?! No, no problem at all, in fact, we're matching-" 

"KAIKAINA GRIF, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING?!" Grif, out of nowhere, yelled. It was a surprise to many people - actually all of them - that he hasn't downed all of his designated food yet. 

"A bathing suit bro, calm down." She was not at all wearing a bathing suit. One could define it as a piece of fabric that ran in a V, going over her shoulders and meeting in the back. It was the skimpiest thing Simmons has ever seen a girl wear. 

"Um...I'm gonna hit the bathroom BYE." He rushed to the bath stalls - well, he speed walked to the stalls. Grif narrowed his eyes. 

"You're not covering anything! That's not even a bathing suit!" He yelled at her. 

"And why do _you_ care?" She hissed back. 

"Because you're bringing dishonor to the family name!" Grif's voice cracked. Tucker hid a smirk. And Caboose only cared about one thing. 

"CANON BALL!" He launched himself into the pool, causing a catastrophic wave of chlorine water to cascade over the sides of the pool's concrete walls. Church was a mere bystander in the pool water and was now drenched from head to toe.

"Great...this is just great." He muttered, taking off his glasses and passing them to Washington who sat nearby. He just wanted to leave already. 

* * *

They were at the pool for about a half an hour when Simmons observed some rather ominous clouds in the distance. 

"I just checked the forecast - they're calling for a thunderstorm within the next 28 minutes." He reported to Sarge and Carolina. They were cracking open a few beers under an umbrella. 

"Well Simmons, Red House toughs out all storms!" His leader exclaimed, proceeding to chug down his third bottle of beer. Even Carolina looked impressed. 

"Look, we'll stay until it starts to look bad. The pool will close if a storm is coming in." Washington tried to remain calm while being worried sick about his three cats. Simmons gave a nervous grin. 

"U-Uh o-okay then," He stuttered, already putting on his shirt and shorts for the car ride back in their open top vehicle. 

"Hey Simmons! Come enjoy a sandwich!" Grif shouted to his bedmate. The Irish man came over to the fat Hawaiian as he sat at a picnic table with 3 different types of sandwiches out. "Which one do you want?" 

"How do I know you didn't lick any of these?" Simmons squinted at Grif. 

"Relax, I watched him make those sandwiches with heart and passion." Tucker slid in between the two with Kai sitting behind him. Grif was doing his best to not give a disapproving look to his sister. 

"So we got ham and cheese, Italian, and roast beef and swiss." Grif pointed to the three kinds. Simmons sat in thought. 

"Italian." He picked up the middle sandwich and started eating, with Grif taking the other two for himself. Tucker didn't mind, he brought potato salad for himself. Right as Simmons was starting to relax about the impending storm, a whistle blew about 30 feet away. 

"Storm's coming in, clear out!" The lifeguard shouted as he climbed down from his guard chair. 

"Alright guys," Church took command of the situation. "Let's all be very calm and very rationa-" 

"CANON BALL!" Caboose thought it would be a _grand_ idea to jump into the pool once more, proceeding to soak everyone on the sidelines. Including the sandwiches. 

"God DAMMIT CABOOSE!" Grif tried to salvage the sandwiches and shove them back into the overstuffed picnic basket. "They're gonna be soggy by the time I eat them for second dinner!" 

Simmons was already hauling his ass to the Warthog with Kaikaina and Donut in tow. "I can't get my make up wet, it took me _forty-five_ minutes to do!" Kai climbed into the back area of the Warthog. 

"You don't have to tell me twice. My hair took me a half hour!" Donut replied as he also climbed in, trying to use anything he had as a protective shield from the rain coming in. 

"Tucker, come help me!" Church yelled to his counterpart. He was trying to coax Caboose out of the pool. 

"Church, you're not playing it right! I say Marco, and you say Marco!" Caboose was wading in the shallow end with his eyes closed as he spun in a circle. 

"Michael, come on, we're gonna go home and make orange juice!" Wash tried to suede the man child. Carolina shook her head and gathered the rest of the pool supplies that people forgot they brought. She sighed. _At least some indoor time can't be that bad, right?_

* * *

Grif was complaining. Loudly. 

"The sandwiches are ruined. Ruined! And I never say that about food!" All of Grif's precious sandwiches were lined up on the kitchen counter, soaked from chorline and rain water. They were about half a mile from the cabin when the skies opened up on them. 

"You can't feed this to my cats. It's not good for them." Washington was hovering nearby, this time holding a Maine Coon cat like a baby. It kept whimpering in his arms. 

"We weren't _going_ to." Church gritted his teeth as he was at the dining table, still soaked head to toe. He didn't even bother getting changed yet. "What the fuck is wrong with your cat?" 

"Sprinzie hates thunderstorms." Washington answered Church before proceeding to walk out of the kitchen and 'baby talk' to the cat. Carolina stifled a laugh. 

"Guys, we have a problem." Doc came in after Washington exited. 

"I know what the problem is - the sandwiches. Oh the sandwiches..." Grif was still grieving over the 'loss' of the hoagies he made. "They had such short lives..." 

"What's the problem?" Carolina inquired, ignoring Grif behind her. 

"It's Simmons. He's been hauled up in his room for the past hour...I tried coaxing him out but he won't unlock the door." Doc scratched the back of his neck. "He sounded like he was crying." 

"Like, hurt crying or...?" Church asked, arms resting on this knees. 

"No, I don't think so. Maybe anxiety? But I can't tell." Doc replied as Church gave him a hard stare. 

"....aren't you a pre med student?" Church squinted. 

"Allied health, actually. One step below bio/pre med." Church rolled his eyes to the answer. 

"Great, so we have a doc who's not actually training to be a doc." The supposed leader of Blue House complained as Carolina walked out of the room with a sigh and down the hallway. She approached Simmons's locked door and gently knocked. 

"L-Leave me alone, Doc." A voice cracking Simmons called out. 

"It's me, Richard." Carolina softly replied. "May I come in?" After a few moments, the door clicked and Simmons appeared on the other side of the now opened door. It was obvious he was crying. "Hey, what's got you down?" Carolina pushed herself inside as the Irish man shut the door behind her. 

"I'm stressed. And that thunderstorm didn't help." He sat back down on his bed as Carolina paced around the room. 

"Stressed about what? School?" Carolina furrowed her brow. "It's summer _vacation_. Take this time to relax, enjoy time with us!" 

"I have to have half my capstone project for Honors done when the semester starts." He vented. "I'm nowhere near finished." 

Carolina sat on the opposite edge of the bed. "Well look, maybe take a few hours everyday to work on something. We all have hot spots on our phones, so it shouldn't be too difficult. But don't miss any big things we're doing." 

Simmons looked away and sighed. "I guess you're right. In theory, it sounds like a good idea." 

Grif barged in. "Hey. Want some sandwiches?" 

"Grif, those are soggy and disgusting," Simmons recoiled in rejection. 

"Fine. More for me." Grif shoved half of one in his mouth as a cat pranced into the opened room with Washington behind. 

"No Sprinz, that's not our room!" The cat ran under the bed as Wash tried to grab her. "Dammit...I'm sorry, she's probably not going to co-" 

"It's fine, David." Simmons spoke. "I can watch her." Washington furrowed his brow, scared to leave his cat alone with someone else. 

"You're...okay with that?" Washington asked carefully. Simmons nodded. 

"Yeah, shouldn't be too hard, right? Also cats are cuddly, Grif is not." Simmons joked and all three laughed. 

"HEY. I HEARD THAT." Grif yelled from the next room. 

"See Richard? Don't stress too much." Carolina finished her pep talk. "Now I'm going to go and get into _my_ bed." She walked out after teasing Washington about earlier. 

"Oh of course, rub it in a little bit..." Wash followed after her. Simmons shut the door and laid on the floor, watching the cat whimper from under the bed. Tomorrow was a new day - and Simmons was hoping it would go _much_ better. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lopez's translation: "I found some spare parts in the shed. Just don't take it to any highway."


	3. Night 1: The 'Unwelcomed' Guests

A corvette pulled up a paved driveway with a shitty Subaru in tow. Both headlights were on as the black and orange corvette stopped right before the garage and it opened. The car slid inside as the dark green Subaru stayed put outside of the garage. A lanky man, about no taller than 5'8" stepped out of the sleek vehicle and adjusted his flannel collar. 

"Welcome to Chateau de Gates," The suave gentleman named Felix gestured to his two comrades after they exited out of the other car. 

"You make me want to vomit in my mouth." Locus, a hefty man, slammed his car door shut and looked to his twig friend. Felix snickered and came over to pat Locus on the back. 

"Oh Sammy, you make me want to do a _lot_ of things." Felix gave a devilish grin as his taller counterpart rolled his brown eyes and folded his arms. 

"Isaac, it's cold out here, can we go inside now?" Siris, the perfect balance between the two, spoke the voice of reason. 

"Relax, it's only 52 degrees," Felix countered as he strutted his stuff up the pathway to the large log cabin. It was his parents' vacation home, and they were kind enough to let the trio stay there for a week prior to classes resuming in August. Locus and Siris followed behind him up the stone path as the motion activated lights flickered on, illuminating the bushes and the steps leading to the front porch and doorway. Felix pulled out his set of keys and stuck an old metal piece into the door. "You guys are going to _love_ this place." Felix exclaimed, unlocking the door and pushing it open. He stepped inside, holding the door open for his friends to pass through. He flicked on a light. The interior was rustic, the old wooden paneling definitely making them feel like they teleported back in time, but the modern amenities reminded them that this wasn't 1700. "Hmm." Felix squinted after he had shut the door. 

"Something amiss?" Locus inquired to Felix's hum as he dodged between the two. 

"I....the TV is on. I can hear it." Felix's voice was barely above a whisper. The three stayed quiet, long enough to listen and hear the mumbling audio from an infomercial. Felix's eyes widened to the size of his ego as he tiptoed through the living room with Locus and Siris following behind. Felix instinctively reached for his pocket knife, while Locus and Siris were left picking up random household objects to use as a means of self defense if necessary. 

The trio approached the door to the family room, a faint glow coming from around its edge. Felix audibly sighed as he signaled with his fingers. 

1\. 

...

2.

...

3!

He pushed the door open, ready to scream and jab at the intruder, only to see-

"Sup."

* * *

"Terrence? What are you-" Siris was going to begin his gentle line of questioning when Felix shouted over him. 

"FISHSTICK, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE-" 

"It's not even your house." Locus was propped against the door frame leading into the kitchen, looking exhausted and so done with everyone's shit.

"Shut. Up." Felix growled, turning partly to the olive skinned man and then back to the 'intruder' lounging on the couch in just boxers. "How the fuck did you find this place? Or even get inside?! Also where are your clothes? Ugh god now I have to _clean_ that..." 

Terrence, or otherwise known as Sharkface, was munching on some microwaved popcorn, not really feeling disturbed by this whole situation. "Well, your folks left a key under the rock in the front. Not a great security system if you ask me." 

"Wasn't asking you for home safety advice." Felix gritted his teeth, Siris ready to pull him back at any moment. "But how the FUCK did you find-" 

"Jeez, relax, I'm getting there," Terrence widened his eyes in annoyance to Felix's constant questioning. "Your parents told me." 

"What...wait....what?!" Felix took a step back, completely and utterly flabbergasted. "They did WHAT?!" 

"We're all roommates next year. They wanted me to join you guys on your little 'summer retreat'." He used air quotes as he went to change the channel with his greasy hand and sip on a 7-11 soda cup. Felix's face was contorted. 

"They didn't even tell me!" His face was a bright red as he took a menacing step towards Sharkface. Siris's hand went to his shoulder. 

"Hey, let's all relax." Siris was the calm one of the three - er, four of them. The level headed one. The others thought it was patronizing. 

"I _can't_ relax. He fucking broke into my house!" Felix fought back. 

"Can't call it a break in if your parents were cool with it." Sharkface took another sip of soda as he stared blankly at the plasma TV on the wall. 

"I'm gonna fucking kill you." Felix snarled as Sharkface stood, towering over Felix's rather petite form, but not as tall as Locus. 

"I'd like to see you try."

* * *

Meanwhile, outside the Gates' residence, three men lined the shrubbery with binoculars. One was loudly chewing on something. 

"Fatass, can you _stop_ eating?" Simmons bickered under his breath, giving Grif the side eye through the binoculars. 

"Uh, that's not me, Simmons." Grif replied back. Both men turned their heads to the right, seeing Sarge chowing down on _something_ that must've came from the ground. "Sir, what are you eating? And is it delicious? Because I might want to try some." 

"No can do, Grif. It's no good for ya." Sarge responded, smacking his lips. "This snuff really hits the spot." 

"...you're eating tobacco?" Simmons squinted through the dark at his superior.

"Of course Simmons! We need something to help burn through the midnight oil." Sarge swallowed the wad in his mouth, preparing to eat more. Simmons shook his head in disbelief. 

"Well there hasn't been any activity since they went inside, and I think that's more than enough evidence that those three are also camping out here." Simmons tried to reason with the super duper senior. 

"Simmons, that's not camping, they're _glamping_ ," Donut popped up from behind them in his designated bedtime onsie and matching pink crocs. Simmons screamed. 

" _WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM?!_ " There was an audible voice crack as Sarge quickly hushed Simmons and held a hand over his mouth. 

"Can it, Ginger. He was sleeping in the Warthog." Sarge grumbled, chewing on more tobacco. 

"But we didn't even bring the jeep." Grif squinted at Sarge and then looking back at disgust to Donut who thank god had pants on. 

"Shh! I see movement." All of them prepared their binoculars through the bushes as the front door whooshed open to show an angry Felix before he screamed into the darkness of the Pocono wilderness. 

"...if my calculations are correct, I think he's angry." Simmons pointed out the obvious as Grif rolled his lazy and sleep deprived eyes. The door opened once more to show Locus taking a step outside, and from a distance it appeared that the two had a conversation - Felix being much more vocal and obnoxious than Locus. The Reds listened in to the best of their abilities, only getting snippets of the conversation. 

"Sam I don't get it. _Why_ do my parents feel obligated to include him..."

"Because he's our fourth roommate. If we get to bond without him, he'll feel excluded." 

"Not like he cares." 

"...do you remember when you didn't get picked to go on that retreat?" 

There was a pause before Felix responded. 

"...I guess you're right." 

Felix eventually slumped back into the house with Locus right behind. But before he turned around, Locus looked into the woods and stared _directly_ at the Reds' hiding place. He had a funny feeling they were being watched, but didn't know if it was wild animals or the blundering idiots of the Red and Blue Houses. 

"Shit, we've been made!" Sarge yelped as he dashed for the gravel road, Simmons in tow. 

_Well, that answered my question._ Locus sighed as he went back into the warmth of the cabin. He also had a feeling that this would be a _long_ week. 


End file.
